Insecurity + Time = Resigned Smile

So I had to take a self-portrait for work today.  We are getting these new more official-ish name tags for use at certain on-site Tech jobs, it’s all part of a cruddy corporate philosophy of looking professional even though the proscenium of appearance is most often entered upon by the lackluster banality of one’s work ethic.  But, I promise you, I’m completely exceptional, as is America.

Anyway, I was even more befuddled than usual upon taking my own picture and thought it might be instructive, humility-wise, sharing the experience with you.


Artist in repose, hat freshly removed, not even bothering to sit upright in chair.


For fuck’s sake, I’m immediately in front of an over-bright ugly lamp (out of which appears to be popping an alarmed-looking newborn baby). I’m no photographer but this is just a travesty of misplaced elements. Hence I shall call this one Glasses Akimbo! and proceed to mock it indefinitely.


I had a good feeling about this one.  And then it was gone.  Perhaps as an album cover though, if I ever start a Kevin Shields tribute band.  I might even leave the text just for the self-referential fourth-wall cred.


You can tell I’m starting to take this a little more seriously, but as usual when I take a photo I look like I’m covering up for the fact that I just farted.


And here’s one where even I know I haven’t gotten away with it.


Aww, not terrible, but I had to have another go because my teeth, as usual, are terrible.

Stoned immaculate, at least by all appearances.  You can tell I’m trying to hide those teeth.


My son was wondering what the heck is going on at this point, so I just took this last one in a hurry, and in the end, I just had to say “fuck it” and go with it.  Because, you know?  Fuck it.

#8 For A Perfect World

And here is me slingin’ an imaginary Hughes Dirty, or what I call a Doc Holiday (think Val Kilmer in “Tombstone”), because got-dammit puberty is going to be great when it finally comes along.


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October 2008
« Sep   Nov »

Currently Reading:

Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame - Charles Bukowski

Currently Listening:

Mr. Bungle - California

Why, yes, I am cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce.

You lika de juice????

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