Soldier On

i have lost my job
it took so much work to get it
(wheeling and dealing)
i was so disappointed in it when I got it
later it became my shield because in spite of its unsuitability I was good at it
& i was going to school
& i was getting it done
& i was proud
but then one day something changed
everything became sinister
large things became giant and impenetrable
small things became confusing and too small to know
i don’t know what happened
but i kept soldiering on
& I kept my coals in the fire
& here it is years later
& I’m all worn out
I don’t look like I used to
and i damned sure don’t have the courage i once did
this one has seen too much of conflict and not enough of peace
but I’m still here dammit
still holding the remnants of that now useless shield
looking for all those things that are gentle
and all those things
which are sized just for me

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February 2016
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Currently Reading:

Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame - Charles Bukowski

Currently Listening:

Mr. Bungle - California

Why, yes, I am cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce.

You lika de juice????

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