Question

It hurts so bad. I never thought of it until now. The fact that I took so long to get there is either a testament to my affliction or testament to my insistence that she is beyond reproach.

How can she leave me because I’m ill? Is that just?

But I had/have a drinking problem. Right. So is that a sufficient character defect? How does one mistake affect the other?

Why does she think I wanted a second child? I love her, that’s why. I had no great dreams of anything but to make her happy with another child.

Oh god. I hate to think this:

What’s the difference between me and a man who has cancer?
The other man would have already died.

The bad part is that I know this has occurred to me already, and I keep forgetting.

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February 2016
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Currently Reading:

Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame - Charles Bukowski

Currently Listening:

Mr. Bungle - California

Why, yes, I am cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce.

You lika de juice????

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