Archive for April, 2016

Cure Song #2: Trust

Listen here.

Lyrics:

there is no-one left in the world
that i can hold onto
there is really no-one left at all
there is only you
and if you leave me now
you leave all that we were
undone
there is really no-one left
you are the only one

and still the hardest part for you
to put your trust in me
i love you more than i can say
why won’t you just believe?

The Long and Short of It

In the end, was I ever important to her?

I feel weird, asking that. A year back I wouldn’t have hesitated to say yes. But now I think I need to scale back my supposition, because you don’t reject those who are really important. As much as she says she left because I neglected her, at least I was willing to keep trying to make a go of things before I die.

Now all I can do is die. There’s noone around for me anymore.

Augh

Life is well and truly awful, now. I do not expect anything to change for a very long time. Would it be any better if she were still there for me? Yes, it would be ¬†better. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t know how to do the same job of recovering from this tragedy by myself. Instead I have to get a job and start juggling again. I don’t juggle well, I’ve proven that by now.

Apparently I’m supposed to just dust myself off and be cool. But I don’t know how to do that. This just sucks. I’m not even allowed to just run away and forget her. And if I wanted to see her at some point, it’s not like she cares to see me. I’m just a drop-off point now.


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Currently Reading:

Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame - Charles Bukowski

Currently Listening:

Mr. Bungle - California

Why, yes, I am cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce.

You lika de juice????