Augh

Life is well and truly awful, now. I do not expect anything to change for a very long time. Would it be any better if she were still there for me? Yes, it would be  better. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t know how to do the same job of recovering from this tragedy by myself. Instead I have to get a job and start juggling again. I don’t juggle well, I’ve proven that by now.

Apparently I’m supposed to just dust myself off and be cool. But I don’t know how to do that. This just sucks. I’m not even allowed to just run away and forget her. And if I wanted to see her at some point, it’s not like she cares to see me. I’m just a drop-off point now.

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April 2016
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Currently Reading:

Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame - Charles Bukowski

Currently Listening:

Mr. Bungle - California

Why, yes, I am cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce.

You lika de juice????

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