Archive for the 'Creepy Guy' Category


1) Denial

2) Anger

3) Bargaining

4) Depression

5) Acceptance


Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively.

If you ever want to feel the gaping void of madness that would be created by immortality, just do what I did today:

1. Go to work while it’s raining very hard.

2. Fall into a puddle and thoroughly soak your socks.

3. Try to microwave the socks.

4. One minute later, enjoy your blackened, burned, useless socks.

4. One second later, throw them shits in the trash ’cause they stank.

4? Relent to societal and workplace demands, put your wet feet into a pair of ten-year-old leather bucks with no socks, and no hope of getting socks.

4! Work with nice older ladies who prefer the thermostat to be set at all times to 62 degrees.

∞ Watch as your nice eight-hour workday turns into Ī́̅̂͌҉̺̲͕̺̺̳̣̫ ̵̣̖̹͙́͂͐͌ͦͬ͗̓ͤ́C͉̳͙͊̇͑̄ͯ̊͟͝Ä̶̹͔͚́̇̄̅ͯ̇ͯ̃̚͘N̛̳̼͔̫̥̎͆̅̚ ͯ̑́҉̤̲̹̹̕͟S̷̺̹̬̭̪̤̾̅ͦĒ͂̃ͭ̋ͫ̎҉̴͕͕̝̪͍̪̮ͅE̺̭̬͍͇̬ͭͣ̈́̏̂ ̺̳̯͔̞̳̽͊̊́͋ͫͬ́͢F̲̻͚̈̏͂̓̏ͫ͑͢Õ̴̻̘͎̪͎̹̮̳̒͌̂̕R̩̭̆̀̐̽̀̔͟E̐̆͒̉ͭ̋ͥ͐͏̵҉̠̖̪̮̬͓͇V̋҉̙̻E  ̹̤͔̹͖͎̞̤͛͆R̡̗̣̥̳͇͔̓͋ͣ͝.

I have such wonderful, wonderful things... to show you...
I have such wonderful, wonderful things… to show you…

With apologies to little girls everywhere.

New song here.

Well, first of all I promise I’m not some deranged lunatic.

I just got it in my head the other day that I should do some kind of A Capella ditty, not because my voice warrants that kind of treatment, but more because it’s a great way to write songs.  It has that same kind of spontaneity in recording, and is really challenging at the same time.  So what to sing about?  Well.

I decided, first of all, I’m not going to do yet another lamentation on love unrequited.  That’s just been done to death, and honestly I don’t have it in me since, by all measures, things are pretty good here on that front.  So I went back to my youth: what’s a great thing to sing about when you don’t have any other ideas?  Child abduction, of course.  Wha?   It’s a long story, but yeah, for various reasons (none of which are really worth getting into), that seems to be a kind of role that is fun to play for a singer.  I knew I wanted this one to have sort of a middle-eastern-tribal-cum-Josquin Desprez sort of feel, and since I don’t know how to sing in Farsi, I figured why not just do something a little insane.  And so I did, and it is.

Take it or leave it, I think it turned out appropriately creepy, and was fun to do, although the last thirty seconds of it are pretty sloppy.  I am pleased with the lyrics, which are here:

hello little girl
would you like some candy
(cause my candy is really very handy
many flavors & many brands)
i noted you as you approached the van

these treats is so motherfucking good
you think you shouldn’t but i know you should

reach out here to me
that gleam you see
is not handcuffs
that gleam you see is not
come back here!
come back here –

oh no she got away
(where did she
where did she go now)

I’m just overjoyed that I finally seem to have found a good way to keep the high-end of my vocals without sacrificing too much gain.  That took me, 0h, around two months to figure out, and now of course I want to go back and fix all the previous stuff I’ve done, but I’ll save that for later.

Anyway, where did the time go?  I started this jig at 12:30, and now it’s almost 3:00 in the morning.  Bye now!

July 2018
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Currently Reading:

Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame - Charles Bukowski

Currently Listening:

Mr. Bungle - California

Why, yes, I am cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce.

You lika de juice????