Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Fuck your “Kudos”

Obama: whatta speechmaker.   Kudos for excellent speaking ability!

And g-darn it doncha know, John McCain just picked Sarah Palin.  Kudos for necessary kowtowing!

Fuck your kudos and the tired Harvard horse it rode in on.  That is probably the single-most vile expletive ever devised by the sordid mind of man.  Could there possible BE a more trite term in all the multiverse?

Kudos trumps cunt ANY DAY in my book.  And my book makes sense!  It’s correct.

The worst word in the world.  Thanks be to God, no one ever actually says it out loud, or my head might expode.

Earnest Movie Reviews

I found this as a well-formatted Word document on my seven year old’s laptop today:

Hey!

You guys should watch WALL-E today.

It is a love story of two robots WALL-E and EVE.

There is humans and robots.

The main robot and only is WALL-E.

The main human and only is Cap’n.

I can stand that movie that’s why I made a text about it and… this IS the text.

So you are not late yet get as soon it comes out!

(or download)

And then underneath, that, in very capable Powerpoint:

Hey guys!

What’s up mans?!

You have to see this movie called WALL-E

It is a love story about robots…

Pretty cool, huh?

Bye bye!

And then underneath that, in openoffice he had drawn up a little teaser of the movie:

drawn by the boy

all I can say is, if my seven year old can already handle multimedia, why can’t Mr. Millionaire down the street who literally pays me because he hasn’t been able to figure out how to eject a freaking CD.

how to be driven

well hello again.

i am remembering a time when i was young, the first time i can remember taking a walk in the woods on my own, when we lived in a little nook of spalding county, georgia.  this is ancient history for me: i might have been six or seven.  reagan era, in politico-historical terms, but do not let me lead you on that i knew anything about that at the time.

walking through our vast three-acre slice of forest, picking wild strawberries, waiting on my mother to come back from shopping.  (seems to me i was always waiting for my mother to come back from somewhere, but that’s another topic.) i’d find a tiny little red button of fruit to eat here and there, but not having had much luck, i found more fun in running around kicking up dirt, using a stick to swipe at the cedar fronds, vanquishing what imaginary demons i could muster up, considering i knew very little of evil and even less of what a good and proper response to it should be.  i remember looking over at THE DITCH. and thinking, gosh, am i ready for it yet? THE DITCH, of course, being the first great challenge of my life: imagine a rather modest red-clay embankment that started at the roadside edge of our property which swooped down all of ten feet (10 FEET!) to the road below at a forty-five degree angle, at most, and that’s being generous.  I had been getting up the nerve for months to take my bike down THE DITCH for weeks, and had spent no little time riding boldly up to the precipice and then losing my nerve at the last second.

it would be at least a year before i crossed that particular rubicon, but it was already on my mind that morning.

it seems to me now that i truly didn’t know how wonderful things were for me back then, but don’t worry, i don’t hold any illusions that if i were to go back to that place, things would add up any differently.  the past seems to change the colors of the present, washes out the shadows of fear and regretfulness, and in the end that may be one of the things that makes a man worth the living.

If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.

I’m actually not the inconsistent little shit that I seem to be on this blog.  I’m HISTORICALLY a very timely and involved writer, but frankly the NOWNESS of this whole live-blog bullshit was starting to freak me out.

I thought, nobody wants to listen to me moan, and lo and behold, except for my wife, this has been exactly the case.

I thought, nobody wants to hear my addled tech ideas, and lo and behold, not even I can muster the slim prerequisite of interest it would take to have a tech-friendly blog.

Social issues?  Politics?  Meh.  Not that I don’t care, but Digby over at Hullabaloo does it better than I ever could.

Probably this will just be an infrequent arrangement whereby the rarity of my posts will only be surpassed by their meagerness of quality. But you know what? FUCK YOU SIDEWAYS IF YOU QUEENS DON”T LIKE IT!

Alright, seriously, I was thinking about going back to school.  It would probably be a good idea, as my current job prospects are not that great, and I am already halfway to senility. I could go into all the reasons why, and maybe I will some other time, but for right now I just want to roll with the idea that going to school would be a good thing and throw out the hint to myself that hey, LOOK AT THE TITLE OF YOUR MOFUGGIN BLOG! WHAT A NEAT TIE-IN!!!

So.  This return to college thing is just starting in my head, so maybe using this blog would be a good way to make it stick.


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Currently Reading:

Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame - Charles Bukowski

Currently Listening:

Mr. Bungle - California

Why, yes, I am cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce.

You lika de juice????